Psychiatric hotline

Ring...ring
Ring...ring
Click...recording

'Hello, welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personality, please press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press.
No one will answer

NRC 6 May 1999