Ten Reasons Why God Could Never Have Become a Professor Nor Obtained a Research Grant

1    1.   He produced only one publication and that was in Aramaic

2..   2.   He did not include a bibliography of previous work on the subject

3.    3.   His book was neither peer-reviewed nor published in a periodical recognised by Science Citation Index

4.    4.   There are doubts that he actually wrote it himself

5.    5.   No one in the scientific community has been able to reproduce the claimed results

6.    6.   Even if it were confirmed that he created the universe, what has he done since then?

7.    7.   When one experiment turned out badly, he tried to drown all those involved in it

8.    8.   He hardly ever went into the classroom to teach, and when he did, the only thing he would tell his students was that they should read his book 
 9.   He told his son to give his classes instead of giving them himself

10   10. His work was extremely erratic and he would even give classes and tutorials from the top of a hill

Translated from an anonymous Spanish original in 1995